The most successful lawyer

[Niner]

The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the

city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the

lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that

even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't

give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to

your community through the United Way?"

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also

show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she

has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed , the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh... no, I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer, "my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind

and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six

children."

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off

again.

"Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died

in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three

children, one of whom is disabled and another has learning disabilities

requiring an array of private tutors?"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm sorry, I

had no idea".

And then the lawyer says, "So... if I didn't give any money to them,

what in the hell makes you think I'd ever give any to you?

[Niner Delta]

When I was younger, I tried to get into law school, but the school refused to admit me..............

They found out my parents were married.

(and it kept me out of the Marines, too)

Vern.

[spearedum]

Now I know who gives a *^&%*!

thanx Dante'