I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. So I said ‘Implants?’
She hit me.
*
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over
fifty for Miss America ?
*
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
*
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.
*
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!
*
When I was young we used to go ‘skinny dipping.’
Now I just ‘chunky dunk.’
*
Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
*
Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press
‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over?
*
Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
*
Wouldn’t you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go,
But FAT cells live forever.
*
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments
cannot be displayed outside?
*
Bumper sticker of the year: ‘If you can read this, thank a teacher – and
since it’s in English, thank a soldier’
*
And remember:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Oh, So True
- Karl/Pa.
- Leading Member
- Posts: 3919
- Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2005 9:34 pm
- Location: South-Central Pennsylvania
Oh, So True
Karl
Medicare Life Member
Ban grated cheese. Make America grate again.
Medicare Life Member
Ban grated cheese. Make America grate again.