l find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
They say that money talks .. but all mine ever says is good-bye.
So you've put on a few pounds. You're not fat, you're just easier to see.
If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
I have always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"
I can't understand why women are OK that JC Penney has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
Denny's has a slogan, "If it's your birthday, the meal is on us." If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life sucks!
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
I think it's neat how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.
Money can't buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T. Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie, were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
- Niner Delta
- Global Moderator Sponsor 2011-2017
- Posts: 4219
- Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:51 pm
- Location: Sequim, WA
they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
If you think you might be crazy, you're not; because crazy people don't think they are crazy.
The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I'm pretty sure she's going to get me something.
My 65 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm worried about the 175 pounds I've gained since then.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations.
I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
Peace is that brief, quiet moment in history.......... when everybody stands around reloading.