The hotel bill
The hotel bill
The lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 85th birthday by staying overnight in an expensive hotel.
When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $450.00.
She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth $450.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn't even have breakfast."
The clerk told her that $450.00 is the 'standard rate,' so she insisted on speaking to the manager.
The manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, informed the woman, "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
"But I didn't use them," she said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the manager.
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here," the manager said.
"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the manager replied.
No matter what amenity the manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the manager countered with his standard response.
After several minutes’ discussion with the manager unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check, and gave it to him.
The manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But madam, this check is for only $50.00."
"That's correct. I charged you $400.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaimed the very surprised manager.
"Well, too bad. I was here, and you could have."
When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $450.00.
She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth $450.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn't even have breakfast."
The clerk told her that $450.00 is the 'standard rate,' so she insisted on speaking to the manager.
The manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, informed the woman, "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
"But I didn't use them," she said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the manager.
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here," the manager said.
"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the manager replied.
No matter what amenity the manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the manager countered with his standard response.
After several minutes’ discussion with the manager unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check, and gave it to him.
The manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But madam, this check is for only $50.00."
"That's correct. I charged you $400.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaimed the very surprised manager.
"Well, too bad. I was here, and you could have."
- Niner Delta
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Re: The hotel bill
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Peace is that brief, quiet moment in history.......... when everybody stands around reloading.
- DuncaninFrance
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Re: The hotel bill
Just a minute while I give this one a shave
Duncan
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? -- W.C. Fields
"Many of those who enjoy freedom know little of its price."
You can't fix Stupid, but you can occasionally head it off before it hurts something.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? -- W.C. Fields
"Many of those who enjoy freedom know little of its price."
You can't fix Stupid, but you can occasionally head it off before it hurts something.
- Niner Delta
- Global Moderator Sponsor 2011-2017
- Posts: 4873
- Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:51 pm
- Location: Sequim, WA
Re: The hotel bill
Not all of your jokes are fresh either, Duncan, so be nice and don't roll your eyes....
It's been a long time since I have heard a brand new joke. Most are versions of ones
we already heard, and that's ok, we still smile......
.
It's been a long time since I have heard a brand new joke. Most are versions of ones
we already heard, and that's ok, we still smile......
.
Peace is that brief, quiet moment in history.......... when everybody stands around reloading.
Re: The hotel bill
I stole it from a site where nobody tells funny jokes. A lot of times they just make them up themselves. Really horrible stuff. This one was as close as it ever comes on that site to being funny. It was raising the bar..for them... so I stole it as a matter of homage.
- DuncaninFrance
- Global Moderator Sponsor 2011-2017
- Posts: 10945
- Joined: Fri Oct 06, 2006 3:08 pm
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Re: The hotel bill
At 70 I know it Vern, the comment is a joke of dubious date too, just as fashion comes around and around.Niner Delta wrote: ↑Thu Nov 21, 2019 9:00 pm Not all of your jokes are fresh either, Duncan, so be nice and don't roll your eyes....
It's been a long time since I have heard a brand new joke. Most are versions of ones
we already heard, and that's ok, we still smile......
.
Don't know about you but sometimes I only have to look at the punchline to know the joke
Duncan
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? -- W.C. Fields
"Many of those who enjoy freedom know little of its price."
You can't fix Stupid, but you can occasionally head it off before it hurts something.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? -- W.C. Fields
"Many of those who enjoy freedom know little of its price."
You can't fix Stupid, but you can occasionally head it off before it hurts something.