Paddy`s arse

[joseyclosey]

Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his

drinking Buddy, Mick. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his

wife, Brigid.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to

their Upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he

caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and

he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket

broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Paddy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and

looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and

bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of band-Aids and

began putting a Band-Aid as best he could d on each place he saw

blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled

and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Paddy woke up with searing pain in both his head

and butt and Brigid staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you Paddy?"

Paddy said, "Why would you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Brigid said, "it could be the open front door, it could be

the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops

of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot

eyes, but mostly....... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall

mirror."