The Talking Centipede

[DuncaninFrance]

A single guy decided life would be more fun
if he had a pet.



So he went to the pet store
and told the owner
that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.



After some discussion,
he finally bought a talking centipede,
which came in a little white box
to use for his house.



He took the box back home,
found a good spot for the box,
and decided he would start off
by taking his new pet
to the pub for a drink with him.



So he asked the centipede
in the box,
"Would you like to go
down the pub with me today?
We will have a good time."



But there was no answer
from his new pet.



This bothered him a bit,
but he waited a few minutes
and then asked again,
"How about going
down the pub with me ?"



But again,
there was no answer
from his new friend and pet.
So he waited
a few minutes more,
thinking about the situation.



The guy decided
to invite the centipede
one last time.



This time he
put his face up against
the centipede ' s box and shouted,
"Hey, in there!
Would you like to go
to
the pub with me?
.....


This time,
a little voice
came out of the box,

"I heard you the first time!

I 'm putting my f** k**g shoes on!"

[Karl/Pa.]

...so he goes in the pub and sits the box on the bar. He opens it and the centipede comes out. Guy says to the bartender, "See that Centipede?" The bartender says yeah, and smashes it.