Cowboy and the Genie

[Niner]

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texasplains without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden, he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old brief case. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing an IRS ID badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook; she has a pencil tucked behind one ear.

"Well, cowboy," says the genie ... "You know how I work. You have three

wishes."

"I'm not falling for this," said the cowboy. "I'm not going to trust an

IRS genie."

"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like

you're a goner anyway!"

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is

right. "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink."

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

"OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."

"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare

gold coins and precious gems.

"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says ... "I wish that no

matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."

***POOF***

He turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's

going to be a string attached.

[Niner Delta]

The woman at the checkout stand at the grocery store turns red as checker asks over loudspeaker, "Price check on Tampax."

Reply over the loudspeaker from stockboy who thought she wanted a price on thumbtacks.

"Do you mean the kind you push in with your thumb, or the ones you pound in with a hammer?"

Vern.

[spearedum]

..went throught the desert on a horse with no name....la laa la laalaallaa...laalalaa laa la... on the fifth day... I let the horse run free...'couse the desert had turned to sea... or something like that..Lalalaalalallaalllala...

Thanx Dante'