R U from Glasgow ?

joseyclosey · Post by **joseyclosey** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 2:52 pm

U R A GLASWEGIAN If:

1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie ;-), Ecclefechan Milngavie, Sauchiehall, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

3. Ye get four seasons in wan day.

4. Ye canny pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.

5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

6. Ye see people wear shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!

7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family.

9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.

14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

16. A big flash car has a ned at the wheel.

17. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

18. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

19. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals .

20. Finally, you are 100% Glaswegian if you have ever said/heard these words...

how's it hingin clatty boggin cludgie pished get it up ye wee beasties arse bandit amurny away an bile yer heid peely-wally humphey backit Ba'-heid baw bag dubble nuggit

Wee Glesca wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just

came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his rear end aimed at an electric fire.

The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?"

"Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's Ah'm heatin'."

Aughnanure · Post by **Aughnanure** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 4:45 pm

Ye're a game we manny, ye are. Louv'dit.

Eoin.

blackisler · Post by **blackisler** » Sat Jun 03, 2006 1:33 pm

Are you sure you are not from Gods own country ?.

You dont have to be Glaswegian to unnerstaun tthe mither tounge , but if you want to hear the real scots you want to listen to the aberdonians especialy the true doric, must try and get a scots - doric dictionary .