When you have to go really bad.
Posted: Mon Sep 01, 2014 11:43 am
Stolen-too good to pass up
We have all had the "feeling" and you aren't near a toilet, it's happened to me several times which have resulted in some pretty funny circumstances. This is a cut & paste from another thread, this happened to me and is 100% true.
I took a job that was 67 miles one way to work, it was all back roads through farm country. When I say this was back roads I mean BACK ROADS. I took SR281 out of Bowling Green, OH to Defiance, OH and there is one tiny little city in between that has nothing but a bar and a bank. I often wondered what would happen if I had to take a crap on the way to work.....you may stop reading now if you want.
Well one day it happened just past this little city of Custer, OH. I knew there was no way I could make it to Defiance so I started looking for the nearest woods. I found a woods w/ a dirt road along the RR tracks and I headed down the road to the woods. I grabbed a handful of Taco Bell napkins and headed for the first tree....OMG I made it before I filled my pants!!! I'm doing my thing and I hear a voice say "Hey", at first I thought it was my imagination but then I heard it again. I then thought maybe it was God talking to me cuz I didn't see anyone. Then I hear the voice again "Hey dumbass....that's real nice"....God was calling me a dumbass wow that just can't be good . I honestly didn't know WTF was going on.......maybe I blew a blood vessel trying to hold it so long and I was having a brain aneurism and was hearing voices ?
Then out of the corner of my eye I see movement about half the way up a tree....yep it was f'in deer hunters....2 of them as a matter of fact in full camo. I looked up at the one dude and said I was sorry and he told me to "clean up your shit, the scent will scare the deer." I looked down at my creation and thought....I can make it to my truck before either of these guys can get out of their tree stands......I ain't cleaning up shit...literally. I ran like hell to my truck and the last thing I heard was "you f'in asshole!"
We have all had the "feeling" and you aren't near a toilet, it's happened to me several times which have resulted in some pretty funny circumstances. This is a cut & paste from another thread, this happened to me and is 100% true.
I took a job that was 67 miles one way to work, it was all back roads through farm country. When I say this was back roads I mean BACK ROADS. I took SR281 out of Bowling Green, OH to Defiance, OH and there is one tiny little city in between that has nothing but a bar and a bank. I often wondered what would happen if I had to take a crap on the way to work.....you may stop reading now if you want.
Well one day it happened just past this little city of Custer, OH. I knew there was no way I could make it to Defiance so I started looking for the nearest woods. I found a woods w/ a dirt road along the RR tracks and I headed down the road to the woods. I grabbed a handful of Taco Bell napkins and headed for the first tree....OMG I made it before I filled my pants!!! I'm doing my thing and I hear a voice say "Hey", at first I thought it was my imagination but then I heard it again. I then thought maybe it was God talking to me cuz I didn't see anyone. Then I hear the voice again "Hey dumbass....that's real nice"....God was calling me a dumbass wow that just can't be good . I honestly didn't know WTF was going on.......maybe I blew a blood vessel trying to hold it so long and I was having a brain aneurism and was hearing voices ?
Then out of the corner of my eye I see movement about half the way up a tree....yep it was f'in deer hunters....2 of them as a matter of fact in full camo. I looked up at the one dude and said I was sorry and he told me to "clean up your shit, the scent will scare the deer." I looked down at my creation and thought....I can make it to my truck before either of these guys can get out of their tree stands......I ain't cleaning up shit...literally. I ran like hell to my truck and the last thing I heard was "you f'in asshole!"
The door is that away.