POLICE WORK CAN BE ENTERTAINING AS WELL AS DANGEROUS
Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:12 pm
Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old
male, who was caught fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night.
The next day, at the Horsham Court (Victoria, Australia), Lawrence was
charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public
intoxication.
Lawrence explained that, as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
home from a drinking session, he decided to stop.
"You know how a pumpkin can be soft and squishy inside... well, there was
no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around..."
he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked
out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it
and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need.
"I s'pose I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident
embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice
an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience, until Senior
Constable Brenda Taylor approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' Senior Constable Brenda Taylor
told the magistrate. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at
this pumpkin...'
Constable Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence.
"I said: 'Excuse me sir, why are you having sex with a pumpkin?' Lawrence
froze. He was clearly very surprised that I was there, but then he looked me
straight in the eye and said: 'A pumpkin? Shit is it midnight already'?"
THE COURT (AND THE MAGISTRATE) COULD NOT CONTAIN THEIR MIRTH.
THE GEELONG POST WROTE AN ARTICLE DESCRIBING THIS AS 'THE BEST
COME-BACK LINE EVER.
male, who was caught fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night.
The next day, at the Horsham Court (Victoria, Australia), Lawrence was
charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public
intoxication.
Lawrence explained that, as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
home from a drinking session, he decided to stop.
"You know how a pumpkin can be soft and squishy inside... well, there was
no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around..."
he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked
out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it
and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need.
"I s'pose I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident
embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice
an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience, until Senior
Constable Brenda Taylor approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' Senior Constable Brenda Taylor
told the magistrate. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at
this pumpkin...'
Constable Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence.
"I said: 'Excuse me sir, why are you having sex with a pumpkin?' Lawrence
froze. He was clearly very surprised that I was there, but then he looked me
straight in the eye and said: 'A pumpkin? Shit is it midnight already'?"
THE COURT (AND THE MAGISTRATE) COULD NOT CONTAIN THEIR MIRTH.
THE GEELONG POST WROTE AN ARTICLE DESCRIBING THIS AS 'THE BEST
COME-BACK LINE EVER.
