The Nursing Home

[Karl/Pa.]

An Italian family was considering putting their grandfather in a nursing

home. All the Catholic facilities were completely full so they had to put

him in a Jewish home. After a few weeks in the Jewish facility, they came to visit Grandpa.



"How do you like it here?" asked the grandson.



"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," said Grandpa.

"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone."



"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents here," Grandpa said with a big smile.

"There's a musician here -- he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'! There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years, and everyone still calls him 'Your Honor'! And there's a physician here -- 90 years old. He hasn't been practicing medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor'!



And me...., I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me ‘The F****ing Italian’!"