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How Do You Tell The Difference?

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 12:44 pm
by ian27
Question: How do you tell the difference between a Northern Ireland Police Officer, An Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?

Answer: Pose the following question:

"You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?"

PSNI OFFICER'S Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 1-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, Do I get blamed when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself?

If I shoot him, and lose the court case. Does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family home? .



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AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS Answer:

BANG!





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AMERICAN OFFICERS Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG!

click....(sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?’’

IN FRANCE

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 1:08 pm
by DuncaninFrance
I know I am in a dream because in reality he would first have set fire to a car :cool: :cool:

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 4:44 pm
by Woftam
AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS Answer:

BANG!

U BEEEAAAUUUTTTYYY!

6 months "stress leave"

Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 10:11 pm
by Aughnanure
Such cynicism Woftam. :roll:

I'm glad to see that shoot straight and save ammo is still the rule.

a glock 40???

Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 4:18 pm
by Grubber
Would I have to use a glock 40???

Can't I use this

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v315/ ... 300074.jpg[/pic]

:evil:

Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 5:42 pm
by ian27
LOL!!! Very good Grubber. Unfortunately they wouldnt let you use the Ruger 480. Personal protection handguns here are limited to .38 Special, 9mm or below. No bigger!!!!!! Wouldnt want to do someone too much damage, if you were unlucky enough and had to use it.

9mm 0r below huh

Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 6:18 pm
by Grubber
hmmm 8mm mauser in a handgun.

sorry I mistook the villian for a grizzly bear

GG

Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 4:10 am
by Aughnanure
Personal protection?

Not around here, mate, p/p is not a reason to own a firearm in Australia. :evil:

Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 5:22 am
by Woftam
So Ian,

correct me if I'm wrong.

You can carry a firearm for personal protection in Northern Ireland :D . Presumably you can use it if your life is threatened :( . If your life is threatened and you use said sidearm to wound, or heaven forbid kill, someone this is OK :D .

Provided that the resulting hole in threat to your life does not measure greater than 9mm in diameter :roll: . Presumably if it measures 10mm your are in trouble :oops: , although not as much trouble as said perpetrator one would hope :mrgreen: .

Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 8:41 am
by ian27
Woftam

In answer to your question, no. Not everyone could get a personal protection handgun. Owing to the troubles in N Ireland it was often necessary for some people to apply for a handgun for personal protection. Police Officers normally carried their handguns whilst off duty and some soldiers, ie members of the UDR/RIR in certain circumstances could apply for a handgun. These were not given out as a matter of course. There were a lot of people who were targeted over the years eg Prison Officers, Magistrates and basically anyone who did any work for the security forces. Even building and electrical contractors were targeted. The thing about a personal protection handgun is that you need to be carrying it all the time, or there is no point having it. Sods law is, the time you don't have it with you is the time you need it. It sounds easy enough to carry one all the time, but in some circumstances it aint easy. Summer time is always a problem, how do you hide it below a t shirt without somone catching on. Of course if the wrong person happened to notice it, it could lead to all sorts of problems, eg getting targeted yourself. Of course in these times of so called "peace" it would be harder to get a permit for one, and as time goes on, if there are no more terrorist incidents, many people will have to hand their personal protection handguns in.