Milsurp After Hours

Subject: 2007 Australian Citizenship test

2007 Australian Citizenship test

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term "died in the arse"?

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2. What is a bloody little beauty??

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3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?

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4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."

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5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?

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6. Complete the following sentences:

a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother ?

b) You're going home in the back of a ?

c) Fair crack of the ?

d) Fair suck of the ?

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7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss

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8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?

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9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?

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10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?

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11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?

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12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.

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13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?

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14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?

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15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?

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16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

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17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?

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18. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?

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19. Who would you like to crack on to?

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20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?

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21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?

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22. What does " sinkin ' piss at a mates joint and getten para " mean?

A few of those make sense over here and not just thanks to soap tv.

Only one or two of them make any sense to me.

Most don't make any sense to me and I can't be sure about the rest.

1)Yes.

2)10 bulls at 500 mtrs with a .22lr!

3)Probably

4)I was sick last Christmas Day

5)8.

6)Pass

7)Agree.

8)No but I once slept with someone who had!

9)YES, YES and YES.

10)No, we feed it to the natives.

11)Whatever was left over from the barbie!

12)Carefully!

14)Not any more.

15)Not that I am aware of!

16)Beetroot.

17)You betcha.

18) Only if there is an 'R' in the month.

19)Trick Question - answer is of course $4.98 per kilo

20)Kevin "Bloody" Wilson

21)NO! But if they had a boat..................

22)Get the bail bond ready

23)Sir Les Patterson and Dollyn Pardon in that order

What worries me is there is one I don't understand. But Duncan achieved a creditable 14.5/22



1)Yes. - most people can. Double points if you can give the origin. 1 point

2)10 bulls at 500 mtrs with a .22lr! - most people go for a more material approach but this is acceptable. 1 point

3)Probably - no. 0 points

4)I was sick last Christmas Day - no, only in the afternoon. -1 point for not translating the whole passage.

5)8. - close. New South Welshman will achieve 8 but Victorians will only achieve 6 and these are Victorians. How do we know ? Firstly no New South Welshman is called Wanger, secondly New South Welshman travel at 120 km/h on the open road and thirdly Victorians are so far behind the rest of us they still drive torries rather than commode doors. 0

6)Pass A) rockin B) no flamin' idea C) whip D) sav 1 point for knowing your limitations

7)Agree. 1 point

8)No but I once slept with someone who had! - this is an obvious euphemism used when you have done the deed but are too ashamed to admit it - 0 point.

9)YES, YES and YES. - points for honesty (for admitting it), sympathy (for being so afflicted) & stupidity (for admitting it) 3 point

10)No, we feed it to the natives. - Natives of where ? for commonsense 2 point

11)Whatever was left over from the barbie! - alcohol is not included (usually because there is none left over) 0.5 point

12)Carefully! - if carefully includes not in public 1 point

I'll have to assume skipping question 13 is a Yorkshire thing.

14)Not any more. - must be living for full points 0.5 point

15)Not that I am aware of! - wimp 0 point

16)Beetroot. - too easy 1 point

17)You betcha. - now your scaring me Duncan 1 point

18) Only if there is an 'R' in the month. - now you're confusing me 1 point

19)Trick Question - answer is of course $4.98 per kilo - I'll take the answer to question 23 as your answer here 1 point

20)Kevin "Bloody" Wilson Kevin or John, the other two either haven't been here in years or are complete morons 1 point

21)NO! But if they had a boat.................. correct 1 point

22)Get the bail bond ready - not always, occasionally you get away with it 0.5 points

23)Sir Les Patterson and Dollyn Pardon in that order - there was no quesdtion 23 -2 point

Anyone else

13) I might have done but it could also have been a Ned Kelly look alike!

Sorry I missed this one but I was getting another frosty when I answered it and was not at the computer

Yair, mate, I 'ad a shufty at 'em. Yer know doancher that yer lettin' the bloody cat outa the bag? Now there'll be more Poms and Frogs gettin past the Test. Not to mention Ities, Greeks, Gerrys, Gypos an' Micks.

Stone th' bloody crows.

I say old chap - steady on, what!

Now there'll be more Poms and Frogs gettin past the Test

Wouldn't do the Wallabies any harm if we had a few more Poms & Frogs when it came to pickin a team would it ?

The Ities make good tucker.

The Greeks make good booze.

The Gerrys make good organisers - Cityrail/Public Health System - ya see where I'm goin' with that

The Gyppos - I don't know what the Gyppos are useful for to be honest, but I'm sure they're good at somethin'.

The Micks ? Well we aussies have got to have someone to drink with and blue with haven't we ?