Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

This is where you can share a funny story or joke. Adult humor allowed in large degree. Jokes that are considered more offensive than humorous will be deleted.
Post Reply
DoubleD
Contributing Member
Posts: 190
Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2006 11:54 am

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Post by DoubleD » Sun Jan 13, 2008 2:14 pm

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' ForSmuggling Diamonds'

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling

'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
Douglas
pneps
Posts: 45
Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:43 am

Post by pneps » Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:21 pm

I have answered the phone at work before like this:

"Commander Zorg, Space Tyrant"
Enfield, anything else is just a rifle.
DoubleD
Contributing Member
Posts: 190
Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2006 11:54 am

Post by DoubleD » Wed Jan 16, 2008 12:08 am

I am two months away from retiring after 32 years in Law Enforcement. I must confess to a commiting version of number 1 during my career.

Back in the 70's when I was a street cop and CB radios were a craze in the US. The department put CB's in our car's to make it easy for us to monitor emergency calls. My partners and I would park in a semi concealed location. Hidden just enough to be seen and appear to be hidden, and write our reports. While one was writing the report the other would take a flashlight or a soda can and track passing cars with it to see if they slowed down...they would. But then some one would put out the famous CB radio call "Ya gotta Smokie taken pictures at..."
Douglas
Post Reply