Milsurp After Hours

A bloke from Yorkshire goes to the jewellers:

He says, "Can tha mek a gold statue o' mi dog?".



"Aye, reckon a can," sez the jeweller.

"Does tha want it eighteen carat?".



"Neigh," sez bloke, "I want it chewin' a bone."

10/10 Joe

A guy had a pair of pet monkeys. When they died he took them to the taxidermist to have them stuffed. The Taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. After thinking a bit, he said "I think just shaking hands will be fine."