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An Ode to Pennsylvania

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:26 pm
by Karl/Pa.
It's winter in Pennsylvania and the gentle breezes blow,

Thirty freaking miles an hour at twenty-five below.

Oh, how I love Pennsylvania when the snow's up to your butt,

You take a breath of winter and your nose gets frozen shut!!

Yes, the weather here is wonderful so I guess I'll hang around,

I could never leave Pennsylvania because I'm frozen to the ground!

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:56 pm
by DoubleD
Karl, Karl, Karl...

COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. TOUGHNESS COUNTS!

65 above zero:

Floridians turn on the heat.

People in Montana plant gardens.

60 above zero:

Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Montana sunbathe.

50 above zero:

Italian & English cars won't start.

People in Montana drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:

Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.

People in Montana throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:

New York landlords finally turn up the heat.

People in Montana have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above zero:

People in Miami all die.

Montanans close the windows.

Zero:

Californians fly away to Mexico.

People in Montana get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:

Hollywood disintegrates.

The Girl Scouts in Montana are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:

Washington DC runs out of hot air.

People in Montana let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

Montanans get upset because they can't start the Snowmobile.

40 below zero:

ALL atomic motion stops.

People in Montana start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:

Hell freezes over.

Montana public schools will open 2 hours late.

Especially in Cut Bank, Montana

Excuse me gotta go open some windows, it 26 degrees and bright sunny skies this morning.