Milsurp After Hours

Wiremu, a New Zealand Maori, was in Australia to watch the upcoming Rugby Tri-Nations Test and was not feeling well, so he decided to see a doctor.

"Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu. The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing and advanced prostate problems and that the only cure was testicular removal. "No way doc" replied Wiremu "I'm gitting a sicond opinion ey!"

The second Aussie doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also advised him that testicular removal was the only cure. Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment.

Wiremu was devastated, but with the Rugby Test just around the corner he found an expat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last opinion from someone he could trust.

The Kiwi doctor examined him and said: "Wiremu Cuzzy Bro, you huv Prostate suckness ey." "What's the cure thin doc ?" asked Wiremu hoping for a different answer. "Wull, Wiremu", said the Kiwi doctor "Wi're gonna huv to cut off your balls."
"Phew, thunk god for thut!" said Wiremu, "those Aussie bastards wanted to take my test tickets off me!"

It's jokes like these that I realize I speak "American"; and not English or Australian -English. I didn't get it..What are "test tickets"?

The "test tickets" are tickets to watch the "the upcoming Rugby Tri-Nations Test" of which presumably New Zealand was one of the participants.

For New Zealanders the outcome of a Rugby Union Test match involving the All Blacks (the New Zealand national team) isn't a mere matter of life or death, they take it much more seriously than that. In NZ Rugby isn't a religion it's THE religion. Losing All Black coaches have been known to move to places that are more conducive to their health, like Beirut or Afghanistan.

A sense of humour isn't unknown in NZ with their basketball team being called the Tall Blacks, the wheelchair Rugby Union team the Wheel Blacks, the Hockey team the Black Sticks Men, the softball team (something like baseball) the Black Sox, the gridiron (American football) team the Iron Blacks and the Badminton team was unofficially called the Black Cocks but has no official name at the moment.

M14man,

It's jokes like these that I realize I speak "American"; and not English or Australian -English. I didn't get it..What are "test tickets"?

You need to be able to mangle vowels lyke a Neau Zeeelan-der to geet the johke.