Today's Mix
Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:32 pm
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
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A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my Intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, Cause I still have mine.'
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'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and Then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
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A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll Take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
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A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and Asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in Surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
'Oops!'
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While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display Of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's Advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
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The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap Of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by Even more thunder rumbling in the distance...
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's There.'
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
___________________________________________
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my Intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, Cause I still have mine.'
___________________________________________
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and Then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
___________________________________________
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll Take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
___________________________________________
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and Asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in Surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
'Oops!'
___________________________________________
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display Of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's Advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
___________________________________________
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap Of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by Even more thunder rumbling in the distance...
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's There.'