Milsurp After Hours

The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now ...

Waaaay too much time alone. Perhaps a time out in the soft room might be in order.

Dogs make friends cats have staff. We have never had a cat....................

Cats are cool.

joseyclosey wrote:Cats are cool.

Karl/Pa. wrote:Waaaay too much time alone. Perhaps a time out in the soft room might be in order.

Says the man who spends all day watching and posting Youtube videos.


Years ago I worked with a woman that LOVED cats and I once said casually, "I love cats, they taste like chicken."
And she literally didn't speak to me for months.

Vern.

Niner Delta wrote: Years ago I worked with a woman that LOVED cats and I once said casually, "I love cats, they taste like chicken."
And she literally didn't speak to me for months. Vern.

Been there and got the T-shirt Vern.

joseyclosey wrote:

Niner Delta wrote: Years ago I worked with a woman that LOVED cats and I once said casually, "I love cats, they taste like chicken."
And she literally didn't speak to me for months. Vern.

Been there and got the T-shirt Vern.

Similar to my "PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals" t-shirt.

My son sent me a t-shirt that says "I'll be a vegetarian when bacon grows on trees"

Vern.