Milsurp After Hours

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.



You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.



I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'



I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust'....



I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!



When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'



Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor!'



I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.



As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.