All Time Top Country Songs

[Karl/Pa.]

18. While I was out getting hammered, she was getting nailed.

17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.

16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All Day Long.

15. If I Can't Be Number 1 In Your Life, Then Number 2 On You.

14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

12. I Liked You Better Before I Got To Know You So Well.

11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Getting Better.

10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.

9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.

8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here.

7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now.

6. My wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him.

5. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger.

4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.

3. Her Tooth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure.

2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer.

And the Number One song is:

1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman, But I Sure Woke Up With A Few.

[Aughnanure]

Yep, Ah remember singin' No1 'n a few places.

[Niner]

Number 14 is a Jimmy Buffett tune. The exact phrasing is: If the phone doesn't ring, it's me. Another Buffett lust song that could be in the list is "Why don't we get drunk and screw?"

[Karl/Pa.]

I'm surprised the Johnny Lee hit, "The Women Start To Look Better At Closing Time" isn't on there.