True Friendship

[Karl/Pa.]

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card; just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got some.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. A friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend will be sitting next to you saying damn that was fun.

10. This is my oath -- I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".

Send this to "all 10" of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!!

And remember....when life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over !!!!