It's All In The Pronunciation

Karl/Pa. · Post by **Karl/Pa.** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 11:52 am

Pronouncing words incorrectly can be a "foot in mouth" situation in a moment!

A woman named Evelyn stood up at her church's Testimony meeting, or as some churches call it, "Cry Sunday", one Sunday morning, took the microphone from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to an enrapt congregation:

"I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband,Richard, has suffered this past month. He was riding his bike, lost control, ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital,and could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken scrotum." The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats.

"Richard has been in terrible pain all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has trouble swallowing his food. He can hardly lift anything, he's in so much pain, and he has missed work because of it. He can't lift our children up to hold them and give them the personal love that they need. Worst of all, we can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant pain, a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into oblivion. I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for Richard, and pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as good as new."

A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of this terrible accident sunk in, and the men in the congregation were visibly shaken up with the thought that, "there but for the grace of God go I." Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in midst of the congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit, obviously in pain, adjusted the microphone to his liking, then leaned over and said to the congregation: "My name is Richard, and I have only one word for my wife, Evelyn." "That word is: STERNUM"

Aughnanure · Post by **Aughnanure** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 4:31 pm

This could become a thread.

Many years ago I was travelling with friends in their car (a 1932 Ford tourer--those were the days) and we were discussing marriage.

My friends wife said "Married life has its ups and downs but on the whole it's pretty good."

Being a gentleman I managed to stifle my mirth until after her husband burst into laughter.

Tom-May · Post by **Tom-May** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:59 am

The famous occurance of pronounciation error came from the time of De Galle's retirement.

An interviewer asked Madame De Galle what she hoped for during her husband's retirement, her reply was "a penis"

There was a silence as the interviewer was taken aback and the interpreted of the party exchanged a few muttered words then turned to the interviewer and said

"Madame De Galle of course, meant 'appiness"

Well, thet's the story I heard.

Tom

Aughnanure · Post by **Aughnanure** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 6:51 pm

Just remembered another(also put it on Veterans Remember)

I was at a RAEME get together at the home of my immediate boss and good mate the late Armourer Sergeant Frank Cliffe.

We were a mixed crowd, Officers NCOs and Craftsmen (RAEME was like that) and the recent marriage of a not so bright officer came up, Frank said "I wonder who consumated his marriage?"

and Frank's wife replied " The same one that did us".

after the laughter died down, Frank merely said " Consumated not consecrated".

"Oh!".