Top Idiots of 2006

[DuncaninFrance]

I really don't believe these to be true especially no: 5

Number One Idiot of 2006

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation

in toxicology at the

poison control center.

Today, this woman called in very upset because

she caught her little

daughter eating ants.

I quickly reassured her that the ants are not

harmful and there would be no

need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She

calmed down and at the end

of the conversation happened to mention that she

gave her daughter some ant

poison to eat in order to kill the ants.

I told her that she better bring her daughter

into the emergency room right

away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

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Number Two Idiot of 2006

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the

airfield decided to steal a

life raft from one of the 747s. They were

successful in getting it out of

the plane and home.

Shortly after they took it for a float on the

river, they noticed a Coast

Guard helicopter coming towards them.

It turned out that the chopper was homing in on

the emergency locator beacon

that activated when the raft was inflated.

They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the

paint might run.

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Number Three Idiot of 2006

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,

walked into the Branch and

wrote "this. Put all your muny in this bag."

While standing in line, waiting to give his note

to the teller, he began to

worry that someone had seen him write the note

and might call the police

before he reached the teller's window.

So he left the Bank of America and crossed the

street to the Wells Fargo

Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he

handed his note to the Wells

Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his

spelling errors that he

wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told

him that she could not accept

his stickup note because it was written on a Bank

of America deposit slip

and that he would either have to fill out a Wells

Fargo deposit slip or go

back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and

left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was

waiting in line back at Bank

of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably

couldn't read it

anyway.

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Number Four Idiot of 2006

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated

speed trap that; measured

his speed using radar and photographed his car.

He later received in the

mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.

Instead of payment, he sent

the police department a photograph of $40.

Several days later, he received a letter from the

police that contained

another picture, this time of handcuffs.

He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy........ but you still get a sign

Number Five Idiot of 2006

A guy walked into a little corner store with a

shotgun and demanded all of

the cash from the cash drawer.

After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the

robber saw a bottle of Scotch

that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.

He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,

but the cashier refused

and said, "Because I don't believe you are over

21."

The robber said he was, but the clerk still

refused to give it to him

because she didn't believe him.

At this point, the robber took his driver's

license out of his wallet and

gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man

was in fact over 21 and she

put the Scotch in the bag.

The robber then ran from the store with his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave

the name and address of the

robber that he got off the license.

They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Six of 2006

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop

nervously waving revolvers.

The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his

partner moved, the startled

first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign

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Idiot Number Seven of 2006

Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty

badly. He decided that

he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor

store window, grab some

booze, and run.

So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over

his head at the window. The

cinder block bounced back knocking him

unconscious. It seems the liquor

store window was made of Plexi-Glass.

The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, Here's your sign

[Karl/Pa.]

Excellent!

[Woftam]

Normally I would be suspicious as well but when I was in the UK they did a top 20 (I think) idiot crooks using CCTV footage. One of them showed a bloke go into a bank and pull a gun on the teller. When the teller hit the appropriate button the shields went up and our hero legged it for the door.

Once at the door he repeatedly charged into it in an effort to escape (fair dinkum) but was unable to force it. Only when a little old lady walked into the bank (opening the door INWARD) was he able to escape.

Duncan - they are out there. What really bothers me though is it takes no training or licencing to breed.

PS I've seen number 7 as well, although in the version I saw he knocks his mate out and then himself.