Southern IQ Exam

DaveGreen1954 · Post by **DaveGreen1954** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 3:29 pm

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on

blocks in your front yard?

(A) '65 Ford Fairlane

(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle

(C) '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20

gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are

required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches.

How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed?

6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country- western singer?

I betcha thought that this here test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya? It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya...

There's a hole heap of things that big city book-learning don't

prepare ya for in this life.

As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE", here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece...

Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.

Aughnanure · Post by **Aughnanure** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 4:45 pm

Ah shor'ly do 'preciate thet.

Post by **DuncaninFrance** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 4:47 pm

1) 2½" +/- .77864998%

2) B. The other 2 would have been stolen!

3) Trick Question, they use VOLVO Truck radiators.

4) Another Trick Question, they drink Cores!

5) None - the dogs are too smart to be around when it goes!

6) Yes but only if they all face west!

7) About 8.4:1 with a Northerly Wind blowing at 13 mph.

8) Can't answer that cos no one will bother to visit and find out!

Post by **Niner Delta** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 12:36 am

Way to go Duncan, you got all but one right, bet you are from southern France.

The correct answer to #1 is 1 24/16ths".

Vern.

Post by **DuncaninFrance** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 10:23 am

I had to convert the possum to metric and a bit must have fallen off!

Location:- You are nearly right. I live in SW France but am Yorkshireman from the North of England through and through. Joe will tell you all about that. It is said we are like a Scotsman with all the generosity kicked out of him!

joseyclosey · Post by **joseyclosey** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 11:40 am

[quote

Location:- You are nearly right. I live in SW France but am Yorkshireman from the North of England through and through. Joe will tell you all about that. It is said we are like a Scotsman with all the generosity kicked out of him!

[/quote]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v14/j ... es_prv.gif[/pic] Thats right Vern, there`s nowt as tight as as`t Yorkshireman. Not even a a ducks arse.

Joe

belgmart · Post by **belgmart** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 1:10 pm

Hmmm - seems I need to check on some ducks - but I doubt they could be worse than the Dutch, though!

Post by **DuncaninFrance** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:13 pm

The Dutch - Spendthrifts!!!!

A Yorkshireman wouldn't give a door a slam, or give you a cold. You can always tell a Yorkshireman.....but you can't tell him much!!

dromia · Post by **dromia** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 4:44 pm

The difference between a Scotsman and a Yorkshireman is that the Scotsman is tight through necessity and a Yorkshire man is mean by choice.

Southern IQ Exam

Southern IQ Exam

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