NEVER SAY TO A COP………….

This is where you can share a funny story or joke. Adult humor allowed in large degree. Jokes that are considered more offensive than humorous will be deleted.
Post Reply
User avatar
DuncaninFrance
Global Moderator Sponsor 2011-2017
Posts: 11071
Joined: Fri Oct 06, 2006 3:08 pm
Location: S.W.France
Contact:

NEVER SAY TO A COP………….

Post by DuncaninFrance » Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:53 am

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says 'Gee. Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?' You probably shouldn't respond with,'Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?'
Duncan

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? -- W.C. Fields
"Many of those who enjoy freedom know little of its price."
You can't fix Stupid, but you can occasionally head it off before it hurts something.
User avatar
Niner Delta
Global Moderator Sponsor 2011-2017
Posts: 4994
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:51 pm
Location: Sequim, WA

Post by Niner Delta » Thu Feb 07, 2008 2:13 pm

Drunk 19 year old kid on Christmas eve to cop, "No officer, I haven't been drinking, you must smell the candy cane I'm eating."

Yes, I really said that, and no, I didn't go to jail. :roll: :roll:

Vern.
:USA:

Peace is that brief, quiet moment in history.......... when everybody stands around reloading.
User avatar
Niner
Site Admin
Posts: 11758
Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2003 1:00 pm
Location: Lower Alabama

Post by Niner » Thu Feb 07, 2008 3:34 pm

You hadn't been drinking Peppermint Schnapps by any chance, had you Vern?
User avatar
Niner Delta
Global Moderator Sponsor 2011-2017
Posts: 4994
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:51 pm
Location: Sequim, WA

Post by Niner Delta » Sat Feb 09, 2008 2:15 pm

Whiskey.

Vern.
:USA:

Peace is that brief, quiet moment in history.......... when everybody stands around reloading.
Post Reply