Bloke goes to the doctor....

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joseyclosey
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Bloke goes to the doctor....

Post by joseyclosey » Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:34 am

Bloke goes to the doctor, says i think i'm going deaf.

Doctor asks, can you describe the symptoms ?
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Bloke says, Homer is the fat one and Marg has blue hair.

;)
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DuncaninFrance
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Re: Bloke goes to the doctor....

Post by DuncaninFrance » Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:37 am

Tommy Cooper went to the doctors and said.

"When I lift my right arm above my head it hurts"

The doctor said "Well don't do it then" :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Duncan

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? -- W.C. Fields
"Many of those who enjoy freedom know little of its price."
You can't fix Stupid, but you can occasionally head it off before it hurts something.
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Tom-May
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Re: Bloke goes to the doctor....

Post by Tom-May » Fri Dec 04, 2009 9:56 am

An old man went to the doctor, "Doctor, I want you to lower my sex drive"
"Mr Smith" said the Doctor, "You're 86, your sex drive is all in your head!"
"Yes" said the old man, "I want you to lower it about two and a half feet"




Alright, I've already got my coat...
The Truth IS Out There, The lies are in your head. (T. Pratchett - 'Hogfather'))
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DuncaninFrance
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Re: Bloke goes to the doctor....

Post by DuncaninFrance » Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:35 am

Excercise for the over Fifties

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.
With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides.
Hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.
Then try 50-lb potato bags, and then eventually, try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)
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After you feel confident at that level, put one potato in each bag.
Duncan

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? -- W.C. Fields
"Many of those who enjoy freedom know little of its price."
You can't fix Stupid, but you can occasionally head it off before it hurts something.
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Niner Delta
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Re: Bloke goes to the doctor....

Post by Niner Delta » Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:57 am

Doctor to sick man, "Have you had this before?"
Man, "Yes."
Doc, "Well, you have it again."
:USA:

Peace is that brief, quiet moment in history.......... when everybody stands around reloading.
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