Couple of Scotsmen Weighing In

[Karl/Pa.]

Man cleared of weighing penis on fruit and veg scale Date: 22 April 2010

A MAN accused of weighing his penis on scales in the fruit and veg section of a Scotmid store walked free from court today after being found not guilty of public indecency.
Thirty-three year old James Jones of Castleview House, Craigour Crescent, Edinburgh, had denied the charge at the city's Sheriff Court.

It was alleged that he had his penis visibly exposed to the public and attempted to weigh it on scales used for food stuff in the Scotmid store in Moredun Park Road on 10 September last year. Shop assistant Melanie Guglielmino, 31, told Sheriff Neil Mackinnon that she had been "really shocked" when she came to the fruit and veg section and saw two men standing at the scales.

Jones, she said, told her: "We are just having our privates weighed". Asked what she actually saw, she replied: "He had something on the scales. I didn't see it properly. It looked like a penis".

Defence solicitor, Chris Fehilly, put it to her that at no point did his client have his penis exposed. She answered: "He put something back in his trousers and it didn't look particularly nice".

Mr Fehilly said: "You didn't see a penis at any point" and she replied: "There was one, yes".

Shown CCTV footage of the alleged incident, however, the she admitted she could not see any penis.

Later when asked by Fiscal Depute, James O'Reilly, if she could have been mistaken about seeing a penis, she said: "I could have been, although there was something there. It could have been a hand. Maybe it was".

The store manager Agnes Fagan, 46, said she had been watching CCTV footage following a shoplifting incident when she saw "two men mucking about. It looked like they put their penises on the scales for fruit and veg. They were giggling and laughing".

The men were standing on a foot stool so that their zip areas were level with the scales. Ms Fagan said she recognised Jones as he had been a regular customer at the store. "I felt it was disgusting " she said "What if there had been children there or my mother".

She said she saw Ms Guglielmino on the video and has asked her what had happened and she had said the men were exposing their penises.

She also accepted that there was no penis visible on the video as did Constable Craig Paterson, 25, who had interviewed Jones.

The officer said that Jones told him: "This is a totally false allegation. I can say that for a fact". Jones said: "I was there. I can remember standing on a stool, but I can't remember anything else".

He admitted to being drunk. He said he did not know the other man. Constable Paterson said that on the video the two men could be seen standing near the scales with their hands down near the front of their trousers. They appeared to be buttoning or belting or zipping up their trousers.

Jones did not give evidence and in summing up, Mr Fehilly stressed that the only eye witness to the alleged incident had stated twice that she could not be sure she had seen a penis.

Sheriff Mackinnon agreed that the eye witness had said she "thought" she had seen a penis, but had later stated she might have been mistaken.

Ms Fagan, he added, had also said it had "looked like" the men were exposed but had not seen a penis. He found there was not sufficient evidence to prove the precise act as liabled and declared Jones Not Guilty.

[Niner Delta]

Sounds like the scales of justice weighed in favor of the dick....err....guy on trial.

Vern.

[Woftam]

Nice one Vern

[Aughnanure]

As Robbie Burns wrote,

"Twa nine inch men cam' doon th' glen . . ."

I'll try and find the rest*





*in my case it's hopeless

[Karl/Pa.]

Lots o' bawdy Bobby here:

http://www.swiftandbored.com/burns/index.htm#Nae Hair On’t