Mainly for the English among us...................

[DuncaninFrance]

Duz tha speak Yorkshire?

A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
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A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet
he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog
by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"

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A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone
should have the words
"She were thine" engraved on it.
He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be
ready a few days after the funeral.
True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the
headstone is ready
and would he like to come and have a look.
When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that
it's been engraved
"She were thin".
He explodes: "'ells bells man, you've left the blood y "e" out, you've
left the blood y "e" out!"
The stone mason apologises profusely
and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following
morning.
Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason:
"There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".
The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud:
"E, she were thin".

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Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist
"Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"
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Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being
carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs.
Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ectasy just
above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called "e by gum"

[joseyclosey]