Friday Facts

[Karl/Pa.]

Judging by the frying pan that just flew by me head I must have done something wrong. I can’t wait to find out what it was.

I hope they never find life on another planet because sure as hell the government will send them money.

I ate four cans of alphabet soup and I just had the biggest vowel movement ever.

For the rich there’s therapy. For the rest of us there’s CHOCOLATE!

Once you lick the frosting off of a cupcake it becomes a muffin. Muffins are healthy.

I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.

Did you know? Line dancing was started by women standing in line to use the bathroom.

I’m thinking of calling in Ghostbusters ‘cause I live in a haunted house. Every time I look in the mirror this old person comes and stands in front of me and blocks my reflection.

Relationship tip for men. If a woman ever says, “Correct me if I’m wrong...” Don’t do it. NEVER do it. It’s a trap. Never correct that woman.