Thoughts on Aging

[Karl/Pa.]

An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table

awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,

a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia

he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son;

do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well,

if something happens to me ..

your mother is going to come

and live with you and your wife...."

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Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you

stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

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The older we get, the fewer things seem

worth waiting in line for

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Some people try to turn back their odometers.

Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.

I've traveled a long way and some of the

roads weren't paved.

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How old would you be

if you didn't know how old you are?

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When you are dissatisfied and would

like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

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You know you are getting old when everything

either dries up or leaks.

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I don't know how I got over the hill

without getting to the top.

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One of the many things no one tells you about aging

is that it is such a nice change from being young.

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Ah, being young is beautiful,

but being old is comfortable.

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Old age is when former classmates are so gray

and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.

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If you don't learn to laugh at trouble,

you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

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First you forget names, then you forget faces.

Then you forget to pull up your zipper.

It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground

with sticks, it was called witchcraft..

Today, it's called golf

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A WELL PLANNED LIFE????

Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school.

One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school,

Did you manage to live a well planned life? "

" Yes," said her friend.

"My first marriage was to a millionaire;

my second marriage was to an actor;

my third marriage was to a preacher;

and now I'm married to an undertaker."

Her friend asked,

"What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"

"One for the money,

two for the show,

three to get ready,

and four to go."

Getting old is soooo hard at times.

Yesterday I got Preparation 'H' mixed up with Poli-Grip.

Now, I walk funny, but - my gums don't itch!

[Aughnanure]

Hey! I'm 71. When does this ageing bit start?

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just

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(cough)

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kidding, er

??

Whoever.