> 40. I just downloaded 50 cent's new song to my
> I-pod.
>
> 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
>
> 38. Duct tape won't fix that.
>
> 37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy
> a family sedan.
>
> 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
>
> 35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
>
> 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
>
> 33. You can't feed that to the dog.
>
> 32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
>
> 31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not
> safe.
>
> 30. Wrestling's fake.
>
> 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
>
> 28. We're vegetarians.
>
> 27. Do you think my gut is too big?
>
> 26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of
> biscuits and gravy.
>
> 25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
>
> 24. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
>
> 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
>
> 22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
>
> 21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
>
> 20. I just couldn't find a thing at WalMart today.
>
> 19. Trim the fat off that steak.
>
> 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
>
> 17. The tires on that truck are too big.
>
> 16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
>
> 15. Hunting is cruelty to animals.
>
> 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
>
> 13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
>
> 12. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at
> Tiffany's.
>
> 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
>
> 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat
> grams.
>
> 9. Checkmate.
>
> 8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
>
> 7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
>
> 6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we
> haven't seen.
>
> 5. I don't have a favorite college team.
>
> 4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
>
> 3. You All.
>
> 2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
>
> And, Number ONE is:
>
> 1. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving tonight
40 THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY
-
joseyclosey
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