My Resume

[Karl/Pa.]

My first job was working in an Orange Juice

factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,

but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried to be a Tailor,

but I just wasn't suited for it -

mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory,

but that was too exhausting.

Then, I tried to be a Chef -

figured it would add a little spice to my life,

but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a Deli Worker,

but any way I sliced i! t,

I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a Musician,

but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy

I studied a long time to become a Doctor,

but I didn't have any patience.

Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.

I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a Professional Fisherman,

but discovered that I couldn't live

on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working

for a Pool Maintenance Company,

but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a Workout Center,

but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I

finally got a job as a

Historian -

until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working in Starbucks,

but I had to quit because it was

always the same old grind.

SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR

THE JOB!