A Tender Scottish Love Poem

[Karl/Pa.]

A' coorse ah love ye darlin'
Ye're a bloody top notch burd
An when ah say ye're gorgeous
Ah mean iv'ry single word.

So yer bum is oan the big side
Ah don't mind a bit o flab
It means that whin ah'm ready
There's somethin therr tae grab.

So yer belly isny flat nae merr
Ah tell ye, ah don't cerr.
So long as when ah cuddle ye
I can get mah erms roon' therr.

Nae wummin wha is your age
Hiz nice roon' perky breasts...
They jist gave in tae gravity
Bit ah know ye did yer best

Ah'm tellin ye the truth noo
Ah nivir tell ye les.
Ah think it's very sexy
Thit ye've goat dimples oan yer thighs.

Ah swerr oan mah grannies grave noo
The moment thit we met.
Ah thochtye wiz as guid as
Ah wiz iver goanie get.

Nae maitter whit ye look like
Ah'll aywiz love ye dear....
Noo shut up while the fitba's oan
An fetch anither beer

[Niner Delta]