This variant is circulating around civil service email inboxes in Whitehall at present.
Interesting take on our US cousins alert status from those working in government
Another forward to hopefully make you giggle! Racial stereotypical as hell though!
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>>>>Subject: New Security Alerts The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'! Soon though, the levels may be raised yet again to "irritated' or even " a bit cross"!!
Londoners have not been a "bit cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea
supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorised from "tiresome" to "a bloody nuisance", the last time a "bloody nuisance" warning level was issued was during the Great Fire in 1666.
Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.
It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert. The Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain,"ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".
The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". hey have two higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are
"attack the world" and "beg the British for help".
Finally back in GB the public have gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make another cup of tea". Their higher levels are
"remain resolutely cheerful" and "win".
