What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? -- W.C. Fields
"Many of those who enjoy freedom know little of its price."
You can't fix Stupid, but you can occasionally head it off before it hurts something.
That wasn't the first tune he ever played on a piano for sure.
He may have paid $75 for it and certainly got a bargain, but it cost him more than that to get a piano mover to move it to his house. My son has an old upright that costs him several hundred every time he moves it. Piano movers also charge by the step going into and out of a house.