Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near Washington, DC. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you kin be so much bigger 'n me. We're the same age, we was the same size as kids. I just don't get it."
"Well," said the big 'gator, What you been eatin' boy?"
"Politicians, same as you," replied the small 'gator.
"Hmm. Well, where do y'all catch 'em?"
"Down 'tother side of the swamp near the parkin' lot by the capitol."
"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"
"Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexus and wait fer one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!"
"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment. see, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a politician, there ain't nothin' left but an asshole and a briefcase."
Alligators & Politicians
-
joseyclosey
- Moderator
- Posts: 3918
- Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2003 2:48 pm
- Location: UK
-
joseyclosey
- Moderator
- Posts: 3918
- Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2003 2:48 pm
- Location: UK
Tony and Cherie
Tony Blair started jogging near his home in Chequers. Every day, he'd jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.
"Fifty pounds!" she'd shout from the curb. "No! Five pounds!" Tony would fire back.
This ritual between Tony and the hooker became a daily occurrence. He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty pounds!" He'd yell back, "Five pounds!"
One day, Cherie decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner, Tony realised she'd bark her £50 offer and Cherie would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He figured he'd better have a darn good explanation for the 'Boss'.
As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Tony became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there was the hooker. Tony tried to avoid the hookers eyes as she watched the pair jog past. Then, from the pavement, the hooker yelled "See what you get for five quid!!?"
"Fifty pounds!" she'd shout from the curb. "No! Five pounds!" Tony would fire back.
This ritual between Tony and the hooker became a daily occurrence. He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty pounds!" He'd yell back, "Five pounds!"
One day, Cherie decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner, Tony realised she'd bark her £50 offer and Cherie would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He figured he'd better have a darn good explanation for the 'Boss'.
As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Tony became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there was the hooker. Tony tried to avoid the hookers eyes as she watched the pair jog past. Then, from the pavement, the hooker yelled "See what you get for five quid!!?"