A FEW MORE......
Posted: Thu May 29, 2025 9:18 pm
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Still trying to get my head around the fact that 'Take Out' can mean food, dating, or murder.
The older I get, the more I understand why roosters scream to start their day
You know you're over 50 when you have 'upstairs ibuprofen' and 'downstairs ibuprofen.'
If only vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right, and exercise.
But that was four hours ago when I was younger and full of hope.
Anyone who says their wedding was the best day of their life has clearly never had two candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren't a robot.
When a kid says, "Daddy, I want mommy" that's the kid version of, "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to respond "CLOSE ENOUGH."
Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
If Adam and Eve were Cajuns they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
We celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages... Metamucil and Ensure.
Weight loss goal: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
Some of my friends exercise every day.
Meanwhile, I am watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.
The pessimist complains about the wind.
The optimist expects it to change.
The realist adjusts his sails.
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.
I have many hidden talents. I just wish I could remember where I hid them.
My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself.
Exercise helps you with decision-making. It's true.
I went for a run this morning and decided I'm never going again.
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