Laws....

[Niner Delta]

LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE



Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with

grease,

your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least

accessible corner.



Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly

proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a

busy

signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work

because

you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat

tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you

were

in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works

every

time)

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the

telephone

rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know

increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine

won't

work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely

proportional

to the reach.

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from

the

aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your

boss

will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is

cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker

room,

they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly

sandwich

of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to

the

newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what

you

are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Vern's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really

like, they will stop making it.

Vern.

[wh12725]