Laws....
Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 2:15 am
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with
grease,
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy
signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work
because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat
tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were
in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works
every
time)
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone
rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't
work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional
to the reach.
Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from
the
aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss
will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is
cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker
room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly
sandwich
of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to
the
newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what
you
are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Vern's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really
like, they will stop making it.
Vern.
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with
grease,
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy
signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work
because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat
tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were
in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works
every
time)
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone
rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't
work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional
to the reach.
Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from
the
aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss
will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is
cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker
room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly
sandwich
of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to
the
newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what
you
are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Vern's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really
like, they will stop making it.
Vern.
