Paddy at the Bar

[Niner]

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the

night celebrating. Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking

anymore tonight, Paddy!"

Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off and falls flat on his face.

"Shoite," he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again.

"Shoite, Shoite!" He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he

can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls

to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside

and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step

out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

"Bi'Jesus... I'm smashed," he says to himself.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls

himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a

look up the stairs and says "No way." So he crawls up the stairs to his

bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed." He takes a step into the

room and falls flat on his face. He says, "Dang it" and ultimately climbs

into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of

coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"

Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was smashed. But how'd you know?"

"Mick phoned, . You left your wheelchair at the pub."

From Sgt. Mike.

[joseyclosey]