Senior Musings

[Karl/Pa.]

1... I was thinking about one of the status symbols of today -- those

pagers that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one, so I'm wearing

my garage door opener.

2.. I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on

beer cans!

3.. I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still

have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

4.. I thought about making a movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping

Rust"

5.. I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease....that's when your

chest is falling into your drawers!

6.. You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh,

have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"

7.. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny

spoons and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?

8.. Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in

case of an emergency. I think you should write . . . A Good Doctor!

9.. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What

are we supposed to do . . . write to these people? Why don't they just

put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for

them while they deliver the mail?

10.. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot

more as they get older; then it dawned on me, they are cramming for

their finals.