Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
it was split right up the front
and every time that Mary walked...
...but she didn't wear that one very often
Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her, But Little Boy
Blue and his horn.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.
Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned it's wool to nylon
Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men, Said "F*ck him,
He's only an egg.
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
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Nursery Rhymes for adults
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joseyclosey
- Moderator
- Posts: 3918
- Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2003 2:48 pm
- Location: UK
The version of Georgie Porgie I recall was:
Georgie Porgie, Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry,
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too,
He's funny that way.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
Dined on omlette.
Mary had a little lamb,
its fleece was black as charcoal
It stuck its head between its legs
and whistled up its ar**hole
Mary had a little lamb
and the midwife fainted.
or
Old MacDonald had a farm
And someone 'phoned the vice squad.
Georgie Porgie, Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry,
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too,
He's funny that way.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
Dined on omlette.
Mary had a little lamb,
its fleece was black as charcoal
It stuck its head between its legs
and whistled up its ar**hole
Mary had a little lamb
and the midwife fainted.
or
Old MacDonald had a farm
And someone 'phoned the vice squad.
The Truth IS Out There, The lies are in your head. (T. Pratchett - 'Hogfather'))
