Friend Just Had a Strange Experience -For Real

[Karl/Pa.]

Almost arrested today. You're NOT gonna believe this s**t!

First you need a background on one of my gardening hobbies. I raise gourds and sell them on the Internet.

I Periodically take a break, go out on the front deck and scrape the gourds, to clean them of the skin, before the skin dries and molds the gourd. This one variety, I raise, is called a "Martin Gourd", it has a bulbous body and a long neck. Folks use them to make bird houses, and other things.

Sheriff Dept car pulls up the driveway. Two Deputies get out, one Sargent and a rookie. (Rookie; hand on gun) Sargent tells me to come off the deck and come down and talk to them. I says, "Hey Sarge, come on up and have a seat, I don't move so good anymore. Back problems." (Rookie goes into a gunfighter crouch) this bothers me a bit.

The Sargent just looks at me for a bit and then comes to the step, I say, "Come on up, chairs enough for everybody." I hold out my hand to him and say, "Been a long time, Bob, haven't seen you for several years." He looks at me kind of strange, I say, "You were here when I had trouble with those home invaders." He brightens up, "I remember you now!" and comes onto the deck and sits across from me. (Rookie still backing him up, below the steps, hand still on his piece.)bothers me.

I say, "Bring your partner up and relax. I think he figures he might have to shoot me." Bob says, "Relax, I know this guy, he's OK."

Bob points to the gourd in my lap and says, "What is that?" I explain about gourds, the Internet, what they are used for, the whole nickle course. He starts grinning real big. Then starts laughing. I'm beginning to chuckle a little bit too because I'm just a little confused. He says to his pard, "Go get the camera, I want a picture of this. I'm real curious now, "What's going on Bob?" "I'll tell you in a minute."

Rookie comes back, Bob points to a spot away from the steps. Take a picture of him from over there. The kid backs up and snaps a pic. Bob stands up and looks towards the road, "Now go over there, by those trees, and take another one. Take a couple so you get some good ones. We watch the kid trudge across my garden, soft sandy soil but dry. He gets in amongs the poplars, Bob says, "Right there, take several so we have some good ones."

I'm sitting there, looking stupid, with a gourd in my lap. As the kid comes back Bob says, "You're not going to believe this. One of your neighbors turned you in for exposing yourself, here on the porch, she has a camera phone picture of you, sitting right there..." He starts laughing, can't hardly talk, he finally finishes, "...with your "dick" in your hands!" He folds over in the chair laughing.

He actually has tears in his eyes. About this time the camera kid show up and Bob says, "Take a picture of that thing he has in his lap!" I look down at the gourd, with the long skinny neck sticking up in the air, between my legs, "Oh Shit!"

Well, to finish the story, he went to visit that neighbor. They will retract their complaint or else. I told him that I would also like to talk to them, but it wouldn't be absolutely necessary. They will probably just think of me as a "Dirty Old Man" forever anyway. This happened just about an hour ago. I'll bet they have fun with it down at the SO.

[Aughnanure]

Well Gourd Blimey

[biganimal]

ya gotta post one of them pics !!!! ya just gotta!!!!

[Karl/Pa.]

ya gotta post one of them pics !!!! ya just gotta!!!!

Here ya go!

http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h100/ ... er_dry.jpg[/pic]

[DuncaninFrance]

That's the first d**k I have seen with a fuse!

Duncan

[Tom-May]

Well, one euphemism for sex is a bang.

[Wanders off whistling "Sex Bomb"]

(I'll get my coat...)

[stripperclip]

yep I can see where that would get a phone call to the cops