Drive Through ATM

Woftam · Post by **Woftam** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:06 pm

NOTICE IN BANK LOBBY

'Please note this Bank is installing new

Drive-through ATM machines enabling

customers to withdraw cash without leaving

their vehicles’.

Customers using this new facility are

requested to use the procedures outlined

below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, separate

instruction procedures have been formulated

for MALE & FEMALE users.

Please follow the steps appropriate to your gender.

*******************************

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt..

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

(Unfortunately, for the most part this is the Truth.!!!)

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required distance

amount to align car window with the ATM machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on

to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call

them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access

to machine due to its excessive distance

from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary

with your PIN written on the inside

back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet

and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register

and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder,

and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver

waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.

25. Redial person on mobile phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

Post by **DuncaninFrance** » Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:15 pm

Ooooooooooooooooooooo! Wife not in the G?!!

Woftam · Post by **Woftam** » Mon Aug 11, 2008 4:47 pm

Nope

Karl/Pa. · Post by **Karl/Pa.** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:19 am

If it weren't so true it would be funnier. My wife takes 10 minutes just to back out of the driveway.

Aughnanure · Post by **Aughnanure** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:56 pm

Yer's game, yers is.