Joe,
Your beautiful new toy had me drooling all over my keyboard, but I'm not jealous, Oh no, not a bit of it...
Now, please sign this new will, leaving the rifle to me while I arrange the accident^H^H^H^H^H I mean talk to some Sicilian business contacts.

The Truth IS Out There, The lies are in your head. (T. Pratchett - 'Hogfather'))